Paths to God by Ram Dass

Author:Ram Dass
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Tags: Nonfiction
ISBN: 9780307421425
Publisher: Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony
Published: 2007-12-17T16:00:00+00:00

The third yama practice I want to talk about is the one called aparigraha. It literally means “non-hoarding,” but it’s also variously interpreted as meaning non-coveting, non-possessiveness, or non-giving-and-receiving. “Non-giving-and-receiving” doesn’t mean that nothing is passed back and forth; it has to do with the spirit in which the giving and receiving are done. It recognizes that giver and receiver are the same, so there’s a freedom from any greediness in the transaction. That’s the core of the practice of aparigraha.

I used to go through a little dance with my father all the time around the subject of money. My father was a very loving, wonderful, wealthy guy, and I was a very loving, wonderful, poor guy. He’d say to me, “Rich [which was a funny name, considering], is there anything you need?” And I’d always say, “No.” He’d never say, “Rich, here’s a thousand dollars,” to which I would have said, “Thanks.” Instead, he’d ask, “Is there anything you need?” All I’d have had to say was “Yeah, I need a thousand dollars,” and I’d have had it. But once I had to ask for it, that thousand dollars would come with a whole set of strings, like fine spiderwebs, attached to it—things like: “The kid still needs me,” or “Damned kid, still can’t earn a decent living,” or “Sure, all they want me for is my money.”

With all the paranoia connected with money, most of us can’t afford to be in the giving-and-receiving business. Most of our giving, most of the time, happens because we want something in return. That’s not generosity; that’s greediness. Even if we don’t want something material, we at least want somebody to appreciate our gift; we want them to thank us for it. Or maybe we want the return of having a good image of ourselves, as somebody who gave something. Even if we give anonymously, it’s just a subtler hype: “Look at how good I am—I gave anonymously.” See? Just more ego-feeding!

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